Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Smart boy

Some time ago, I read an article about how many kids of ministers rebel and completely turn away from God. It dealt with the feelings kids have of being less important than everyone else in the church (because daddy is always at church) and how they see church people treat their father. As I continued to read, it gave several suggestions about ways to combat those feelings.

One of the things it suggested was sectioning off parts of the job for your child. For instance, never associate Sunday as a work day for daddy. Instead of daddy being at work on Sunday, communicate that we all go to church on Sunday but daddy gets to talk in front of everyone. Then, when he has meetings during the week, don't say that he is still at work. Instead, say something about what the meeting is going to accomplish. See the examples of some things I have come up with below.
  • Personnel Committee- Daddy likes for every one, including us, to do our best in every thing we do. So, tonight, he is talking to some friends about how they can do better at their job and congratulating them on all the good things they do.
  • Finance Committee- Tonight your dad is talking about money with our friends. They are trying to figure out the best way to spend money and save money. Remember when Daddy helps you put money in your piggy bank? That is kind of what he is doing with our friends.
  • Children's/Youth Committee- Don't you love playing in the nursery and doing special things with your friends at church? Daddy and some of their moms and dads are together talking about fun things to with you and all of your special friends. If you have any ideas, we can tell him when he gets home.
  • Choir Practice- Do you know how much daddy likes to sing? He sings all the time doesn't he? Well, he is practicing a few songs right now so he can sing better. When he gets home, we should ask him to sing for us.
  • Counseling Appointment- Sometimes people have problems and they need to talk to someone. Your daddy knows just what to say to them so he is talking to them right now. When he gets home, he will talk to you about anything you want.
  • Wedding- Our friends met each other and fell in love just like mommy and daddy did a long time ago. They needed someone to help them live together and have the same last night. Your daddy knows how to do that so he is helping them. Isn't that nice of daddy?
  • Funeral- We have some friends who are very sad because someone they love lives with Jesus now. Daddy is with them trying to help them feel better. Daddy is so sweet to do that, isn't he?
The article suggested that you only associate church being Dad's work during the hours of 8-5 when most men are typically at work. Hopefully, your child will begin to realize that work is a normal thing for all dads, church is a regular thing and the extra things are just things that daddy has to do sometimes. If you say "Daddy is at church" every time he is at a church event or meeting then he will quickly realize that the church consumes so much time.

All of that leads to this story. Our youth are at Centrifuge this week. Dan left this afternoon headed to camp so he could do dinner, worship and church group time with our students. He won't be home until well after midnight so obviously, he won't see Jonah tonight. As we were eating dinner a few minutes ago, Jonah asked where his daddy was. I told him that he drove out of town to go see some of our friends at camp. He asked which friends. So, I told him Dusty, Heidi, Taylor, Kassi, Megan, and Stephen and a whole lot more. He wanted to know what they were doing there so I told him some of the things that were going on at camp.

Jonah told me then that he wanted to see his daddy. I explained to him that he was a camp learning more about God and would see him tomorrow. He let it drop and continued eating. A few minutes later, he looked at me and said "Mommy, did you mean to say my dad was at work?"

Um, yeah honey, that is what I meant! So much for child psychology! If he drops out of church in 20 years, don't blame me...I tried!


Christy said...

I found your blog through Katrice :)

I laughed at this. I am a PK and well remember those feelings of resentment and all the baggage that comes with being a PK.

I ALSO remember all the great things about it. Our churches were always a huge extended family to me. I was proud that my dad and my family got to be a part of that.

Jonah will do just fine :) God has a funny way of grabbing hold and not letting go-even through periods of rebellion.

Greetings from Guatemala said...

That's funny.

Jami Ainsworth said...

Again, I literally cracked up...laughed out loud...not one here to hear it but me.

Avery's Mommy said...

Ha! He already has you figured out.

And I've always heard about the 'terrible preacher kids' but I never went through a wild phase. I told everyone my parents prayed it outta me before I got to college!

So no worries :)

Vickie said...

Alan is a PK too, and he seemed to turn out ok!!! Some of the friends he made during his younger years are still great friends today! We even met at the church his dad preached at when they moved to Natchez. Most of our conversations around the dinner table when we visit his parents are of their different church families. I love to hear them!!! Jonah will do fine!


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