Sunday, October 26, 2014

A Ministry Wife Talks about Ministry Life

I can't imagine our life being any different than it is.  I know it isn't "normal" by the way other people measure normal but it is our normal and it is all I know.  Other than our two years in Seminary at SWBTS, we have been in full time ministry for all of our dating and married life.  It's what we do.  It is all we know.  But, even though it is our normal, it is still really hard sometimes.  

The last week has been one of frustration and disappointment.  I look back over my prayer journal and see some of the same requests written that have been there for months.  I want God to intervene and do things on my time table but He doesn't necessarily have the same urgency I have.  (imagine that!?!)  The interesting thing about asking God to do things that benefit His kingdom is that it doesn't seem selfish to me.  I'm truly not asking for my benefit but for things that would bring Glory to Him.  So, when they don't happen, I get discouraged sometimes.  I understand His big picture and I want Him to work in His time and His way.  I really do.  But, the urgency seems so great.  And, more times than not, it seems we are floundering as we wait for Him to do the next big thing.  All the while, little things seem to be unraveling. 

Then, a day like today happens and it is just sometimes so overwhelming.  You realize that you disappoint people on accident.  You find out people you really love and care about are hurting.  You come to the realization the the church can't be all things to all people.  You realize that balls get dropped.  You hear of people who miss and are never contacted and feel unloved and uncared for.  You realize that you know things you wish you didn't.  You counsel people that live a life so far from what you can imagine living that you walk away with no words.  You listen as people spew obscenities at each other because their lives are spinning out of control.  You see people let their pride keep them from doing the will of God.  You hurt for people who are hurt.  You are reminded that you can't fix things that have brought great pain to individuals.    THIS WAS ALL TODAY, PEOPLE!

Dan just got home after a 14 hour day.  He walked in the door with his tie still tied from 7:30 this morning.  He never saw our kiddos.  They went to bed missing their daddy.  He came home missing them.  It's another day that we live out the calling that HE has given us to but another day that we go to bed asking Him for wisdom and grace to empower us to do what He has called us to do.  Because, the truth is, we really love His people and His church.  Greater things are yet to come...

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