A few minutes ago, I sat in Micah's room fighting back tears as I rocked my baby boy for the very last time as a one year old. When he wakes again, he will be two years old...TWO YEARS OLD! And, to add the tearfulness of the evening, I was able to pick him up from his crib and rock him without any assistance, for the fist time in eleven weeks. Today, at my appointment, my surgeon gave me permission to pick him up 4-5 times each day. That means I can be mommy again. And, how perfect was it that Dan accidentally woke him up when he went to gather trash from his room?? It gave me the chance to rush right in there, get him from his crib and snuggle up close to him.
We sang songs. I rubbed his back. He rubbed my nose and my hair. We talked about Abby and Elmo. I sang Happy Birthday to him. He said "gin, gin" like he always does when he wants me to sing again. I could happily think that is because he likes my singing but I know it is because he really just wants to prolong the rocking. I told him over and over again how much I loved him and how glad I am that he was born. For the first time ever, he said "I Yuh You" back to me. I couldn't get him to say it again so maybe it was a fluke. Or, maybe it was a sweet blessing from God on the eve of his second birthday. I told him about all the people who love him. I told him that Jesus loves him the most. Oh, how I hope he grasps that at an early age. If he can only come to know how big God is and how treasured he is by our Great God, every struggle in life will pale in comparison to that.
Two years ago, at this very time, I was unsure of what life would be like with a new baby. I didn't know how I would love another little boy like I did Jonah. But, that little 8 pound and 10 ounce baby stole my heart. And, tomorrow, we get to celebrate him ALL DAY LONG!
4 hours ago