Monday, May 4, 2009

Infertility Support Group

In June of 2002, we felt sure God was leading us to start a family. We thought that was a decision that was made and then just happened. We were wrong...WAY wrong! After tears, tests, needles, medication, failed adoptions, heartbreak and discouragement, we were finally blessed with a beautiful little boy in July of 2006.

Knowing the heartache and heartbreak that goes along with that, I feel like God is leading me to begin a support group here in the Natchez/Vidalia area for those of you struggling with the same thing. If you read the following poem and think that you could have written it, then send me a private message
( )
for details. This will be a very discreet group with tons of privacy. We will talk details after I get responses from many of you!

There are women who become mothers without effort,
without thought,
without patience or loss,
and though they are good mothers and love their children,
I know that I will be better.

I will be better not because of genetics or money or because I have read more books,
but because I have struggled and toiled for this child.

I have longed and waited.
I have cried and prayed.
I have endured and planned over and over again.

Like most things in life, the people who truly have appreciation are those who have struggled to attain their dreams.

I will notice everything about my child.
I will take time to watch my child sleep,
and discover.
I will marvel at this miracle every day for the rest of my life.

I will be happy when I wake in the middle of the night to the sound of my child, knowing that I can comfort, hold, and feed him and that I am not waking to take another temperature, pop another pill, take another shot or cry tears of a broken dream.
My dream will be crying for me.

I count myself lucky in this sense; that God has given me this insight, this special vision with which I will look upon my child.

Whether I parent a child I actually give birth to or a child that God leads me to, I will not be careless with my love.

I will be a better mother for all that I have endured. I am a better wife, a better aunt, a better daughter, neighbor, friend, and sister because I have known pain.

I know disillusionment, as I have been betrayed by my own body. I have been tried by fire and hell that many never face, yet given time, I stood tall.

I have prevailed.
I have succeeded.
I have won.

So now, when others hurt around me, I do not run from their pain in order to save myself discomfort. I see it, mourn it, and join them in theirs.
I listen.
And even though I cannot make it better, I can make it less lonely.

I have learned the immense power of another hand holding tight to mine, of other eyes that moisten as they learn to accept the harsh truth when life is beyond hard.

I have learned a compassion that only comes by walking in those shoes. I have learned to appreciate life.

Yes, I will be a wonderful mother.

1 comment:

Sugar's Mommy said...

Thank you for doing this Nicki. I'll be praying for your and those you touch. Please let me know if I can help in any way.


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